Intentional Relationships

Some friends of ours recently joined an "intentional community".  What is that, you say? When my dad first heard about it he jokingly called them hippies.  But, when googled this definition comes up:  Intentional Community is an inclusive term for ecovillages, cohousing communities, residential land trusts, communes, student co-ops, urban housing cooperatives, intentional living, alternative communities, cooperative living, and other projects where people strive together with a common vision.

Some communities are a little more on the extreme side of things. But there are some that are just a group of people wanting to purposefully live their lives together.  Our friends' community was founded by David Janzen and inspired by a verse in Acts:  " All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave according to what each one needed." - Acts 2:44-45   In theory, I can hardly see fault in that.  But practically speaking, I know with that lifestyle will come unique challenges.  Natural Life Magazine shares some of the pros and cons of raising children in intentional communities.  But says ultimately: Despite the potential difficulties and the undoubted challenges, being a child or a parent in community brings many rewards, and it is an option well worth considering. And The Offbeat Home shares the benefits and challenges of communal living on their blog.  She ends her post with: In closing let me say that I love this lifestyle and hope to live in community until old age. I don't understand those 90 year olds who want to live alone in their own house until they die. I love living around children and young adults, it keeps me flexible and up to date, it gives me a place to share my stories, my skills, my time and my gifts. It makes me smile to hear the children laughing uproariously as they jump on the trampoline. Life is good!



I certainly am not sharing to say anything either way - for or against intentional communities.  I think that living that kind of lifestyle is a matter for each to decide for them-self.   However, for me personally, I would rather have my focus be on intentional relationships and less on the logistics of actual cohabitation.  I don't like the idea of the politics involved with having shared living space or shared money.  I know a lot of people who make poor financial decisions and it is easy for me to detach from that because its none of my business.  But if we were all using the same piggy bank then I would think it was my business how they spent "our" money and I don't want to be in that position.

True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island… to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.

This year I am working on building relationships and that takes a lot of work and I have to be intentional about making playdates and girls night outs,  making phone calls and mailing birthday cards, and taking meals or babysitting to make that happen.  

Fun Cheap or Free is doing a series called Focused in 2014 and made this February - Focus on Relationships Calendar for their readers.  They have suggested activities and things for you to do to build relationships all month long.  I love this!  There are some really helpful suggestions.  Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project shared 7 tips for making new friends.  If you think about it there a few key things that should be used to build and strengthen relationships:

be kind - go out of your way to genuinely compliment people and be encouraging.

quality time - be purposeful about planning get togethers with friends and family.  I know we're all busy, but we need to prioritize and make time to spend with those people who are important to us.

communication - find the time to call or email loved ones that don't live close by.  And don't forget that communication is just as much (if not more) about listening as it is talking.

give & take - bring a meal or babysit for someone you know could use the help AND don't be afraid to let people help you in return.

expect ups & downs - its ok to have times when you're disappointed or even angry at one another, we're all human, we will make mistakes.  Forgive and move on.


Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Great Products Tshirt Review and Giveaway!!

I was recently contacted by Great Products to do a review and giveaway of one of their tshirts.  I debated on whether to get one of the awesome shirts they have for moms or to get one for Nate...  I figured most of my other giveaways have been ones that related to me, so I decided to let him pick one.  He was so excited to browse the wide selection of cool t-shirt designs but he picked the one that I had predicted he would.

If you can't read it, it says "Homeschooler by day, Ninja by night".  I mean, what 8yr old boy doesn't want to be a ninja?  ;-) Nate loves his shirt and would wear it every day if I didn't have to wash it every couple of days! Seriously.

I was impressed with a lot of the cool designs that Great Products has available.  They have Christian and homeschool specific designs too.  And the prices were surprisingly affordable!  Especially with their $5.99 tshirt special going on right now!


So,  don't miss out on this Labor Day giveaway!  There are several ways you can enter to win a Great Products T-Shirt via the Rafflecopter below.  Giveaway ends at midnight on Labor Day.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

*the shirt was given to us in exchange for the review/giveaway but the opinions shared are my own.

He is Risen

 

Hearts at Home - No More Perfect Moms!

This was my second Hearts at Home conference and it just keeps getting better!  This year we got a hotel pretty close to the Illinois State University campus where Hearts at Home's national conference is held every year.  Nothin' fancy... just a HoJo but it was clean and had free continental breakfast.  ;-)  Friday night we attended the Moms' Night Out event featuring comedian (and mom) Anita Renfroe.  Hilarious! She was so fun!  And the music for the weekend was provided by Meredith Andrews.  I'd never heard of her but she was great.  Besides, you gotta love (or hate) a mom who gave birth on her bathroom floor and rock skinny jeans less than a month later.  ;-)

Its amazing to see the masses of women invade the college campus!  This year nearly five thousand moms attended the conference!  The theme was No More Perfect Moms (taken from Jill Savage's new book of the same name) and there were tons of great workshops offered.

 

While I was struggling to choose my workshops (there really were a lot that sounded great) I decided to choose one parenting, one marriage and one for myself.  In the end I attended Real Ways to Connect with Your Kids - Kathi Lipp, Fill Up to Pour Out - Lynn Cowell, What Your Man Most Wants You to Know - Shaunti Feldhahn, and Special Moms for Special Kids - Laura Sniff and Libby Raab.  I really feel that I learned from each of my workshops.

The keynote speakers were Jill Savage (founder of Hearts at Home) and Candace Cameron Bure (DJ from Full House!).  As always I love Jill's candidness when she speaks.  She shares intimate moments and silly stories that remind us we're not alone and none of us are perfect.  And Candace was great!  I halfway expected her message to be fluff.  Sorry, Candace!  ;-)  But instead it was down to earth and full of biblical truths and insight into how she came to know Jesus.  Basically she's just like the rest of us, trying to be the wife and mother that God wants her to be.  I am pretty sure that if she knew I was alive, we would totally be friends!

 

One phrase that I heard a few times over the weekend was "Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides."   Its so true.  So often we see people's lives through this filter of comparison when we should be viewing everything through the lens of Christ.  Romans tells us that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God".  And frankly don't we all fall short of our own expectations as well? We need to accept ourselves and others' imperfection and encourage one another to be the best we can be without expecting anyone or anything to be perfect. And that is OK!  

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Proverbs 31:25

Christmas Tidings

We have had a very busy but blessed year.  On top of the usual busyness and chaos we were flooded with major life events in our family in what felt like a very short time.  We have two divorces going on in the family.  We have had family members in the hospital, some have passed away.  But there were also exciting life events too.  My husband started a new job that he loves.  Two of my sisters got married.  Two of my sisters had babies...  Its been an eventful year for us!

Because of the busyness (or my laziness) I opted not to write a Christmas letter this year.  And for our card I used the pictures we had taken in the spring instead of taking new ones... I know, I'm such a slacker.  ;-)  But here is what our Christmas card looked like.

Do they come any cuter than that?  ;-)  And another thing I did differently is I only sent cards to the people who sent us one.   I have a stack of pre-stuffed envelopes on standby and when a card came in I addressed one to them and sent it out. Last year I realized how many of the people I was sending cards to were not reciprocating and I figured this was as good a way as any to cut back.  

Thanks for following along or stopping by.  I am happy to share a bit of our crazy life with you all.

The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" (NASB) - Lamentations 3:22-24

How do you $pend Christmas?

Recently my husband shared with me how his coworker was saying how she didn't know how she was going to afford all the many things her kids were picking out for Christmas... she felt an obligation to buy them all of these things because that's what you do at Christmas, right? My husband reminded her that there is no reason to spend outside of their means to meet a socially imposed Christmas quota. She was empowered by his words and set a reasonable Christmas budget for her family.

Its interesting to see and hear about how different families celebrate Christmas. I have noticed a stark contrast between my own family and my husband's. My family keeps it fairly frugal while my mother-in-law spends more on our three kids than my husband and I do on Christmas as a whole. According to a Gallup Poll from October 2011 the average US spending on Christmas will be something like $700…. but the truth is in the numbers….

• 25% around $1000
• 25% $500 to $999
• 30% $100 to $499
• 14% Unsure
• 6% Less than $100

Even with the economy being rough we are still spending ridiculous amounts of money on unimportant, frivolous trinkets and toys. I mean, would Christmas cease to be Christmas if we didn't spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on gifts that will be played with or worn for a short time and then end up in the Goodwill bin? What if we could spend less and enjoy the Christmas season more?

I don't know about you but my house is cluttered enough now. There are very few things that we truly need. We are already blessed. My kids don't need to get brand new toys from a dozen different family members. I would much rather take that money and use it for something important, and meaningful. Every year I try to talk my husband into skipping gifts and using that money toward a family trip where we will build our relationships and make memories.

[AC] Promo 2011 from Advent Conspiracy on Vimeo.

How does that video make you feel? It made me feel remorseful for our relatively modest Christmas spending. How much do we waste on the unimportant? What could you do to make your family's Christmas more meaningful and less about stuff? Here are a few resources to give you some ideas:

About.com - How to Budget Holiday Spending
MoneySavingMom's Clutter-free Christmas series
Focus on The Family - Meaningful Christmas
Get Rich Slowly - A DIY Christmas
My Simpler Life - Ideas for a Less Expensive, More Meaningful Christmas
About.com - Top 5 Christmas Charities


Ultimately this is the only thing that matters during the Christmas season and all year long:

“God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons” (GALATIANS 4:5).

Reassurance

Sometimes I have days, maybe weeks where I feel alone. I may be surrounded by people, heck, I'm nearly always with my kids at least... so I rarely am physically alone. But inside... I feel it. It is during those times that I have to remind myself that I am never alone.

But You, O LORD, be not far off; O You my help, hasten to my assistance. Psalm 22:19

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand. Psalm 37:23-24 (KJV)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

"O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it. Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me....How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You." (Psalm 139:1-10 & 17-18)

Taming the TV too

I'm a sucker for tv shows. It doesn't take much for me to get hooked on a new show. When I was growing up we didn't watch a whole lot of tv but we did get to enjoy the Friday night ritual of "TGIF". In college I remember arranging my schedule around "Must See TV" and going to my friends' dorm room to watch Friends and ER together. My hubby and I were big Lost fans (though we disagree on how we feel about the way it ended).
Over the years I have noticed the quality of television changing. In some ways its getting better; the acting, special effects, etc. But in others I think the quality is going down. I cannot think of any shows that are genuinely family friendly anymore. When I was a teen we watched Saved By The Bell now teens are watching Gossip Girl, Secret Life of the American Teenager and Skins. I read an interesting article comparing what teens in the '80s were watching versus current trends in teen viewing. What a huge difference in the content of shows marketed toward teens now. The media is encouraging teenage sexuality and substance abuse more and more.

According to an article on the Presidential Prayer Team's website: “Television carries the imprimatur of acceptability for all kinds of activities,” according to popular culture expert and Syracuse University professor Robert Thompson. “Once prime time television decides to absorb something, it becomes a stamp of normalcy. It’s no longer controversial. It’s no longer a big deal. It makes it a casual, accepted sort of thing.”

As someone who has pretty traditional family values I have had to reevaluate my own tv viewing. Do I want to support shows that do not share my values? It seems to me that most tv shows now do not have any values at all. I have been convicted about my tv choices for awhile. And over time I have chosen to say goodbye to a few of my old tv shows... Glee, Private Practice, Grey's Anatomy, Vampire Diaries... I have by no means found any perfect shows, but because it is so hard to find quality tv viewing, we primarily are watching older shows on Netflix now.

Everyone has different views on values and tv viewing. I am not trying to convince anyone to give up anything. Just sharing about what I have been thinking about. Do you need help deciding what tv shows and movies are appropriate for your family viewing? Here are a few resources to give you the needed information to make educated decisions about your screen time.
Plugged In - gives reviews and content breakdowns for movies and tv shows
ScreenIt.com - full content reviews
TheFish.com - offers a Christian look at pop culture


Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Operation Christmas Child - Craft Night

Samaritan's Purse is a nondenominational evangelical Christian organization providing spiritual and physical aid to hurting people around the world. Since 1970, Samaritan's Purse has helped meet needs of people who are victims of war, poverty, natural disasters, disease, and famine with the purpose of sharing God's love through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Operation Christmas Child, the world's largest Christmas project, brings joy and hope to needy children around the world through gift-filled shoe boxes and the Good News of God's love. Since 1993, more than 86 million shoe box gifts have been delivered to children in more than 130 countries.

A lovely lady from my church was led to coordinate a special craft night to make skirts to put in our Operation Christmas Child gift boxes. We all met at our church, some of us with our sewing machines, some who had no sewing experience at all but were there with willing hearts and hands, ready to serve in whatever way they could. We were a busy group, sewing, ironing, threading elastic and clipping strings... What a huge blessing it was to serve alongside all these wonderful ladies and see the fruit of our labor: by the end of the evening (which was shorter than expected because things went so smoothly) we had made 35 skirts that were paired with brand new shirts and hair clips. It is amazing to think about the thirty-five little girls all over the world that will be receiving new outfits this Christmas. Our hope is that these girls will feel the love of Jesus Christ when they get these gift boxes packed with love from us.
In few weeks our church will be having an Operation Christmas Child event and our children will be learning about OCC and what they do, they'll get to do crafts and write letters to the kids who will be receiving the boxes and of course the kids will get to help stuff the boxes as well. It is going to be a very special event and hopefully we'll be able to use it to teach our children how blessed we are here in America and how to be a cheerful giver and share the love of Jesus with other children across the globe in such a tangible way.

Operation Christmas Child is a project of Samaritan's Purse. You and your kids or friends can pack a shoe box for a child and share the love of Jesus Christ. National Collection Week is November 14-21, 2011. Visit their Web site to learn more about how you can change a child's life through a simple shoe box gift. To participate, order free materials by visiting www.samaritanspurse.org/occ or calling 1-800-353-5949.

Heart Changer

I have always been outright ProLife. But this movie makes me rethink how passive I have been. I shouldn't just stand aside and watch all these babies being murdered. We have a responsibility to theses unborn children who cannot speak up for themselves.

Quote

I read a powerful quote the other day. Its so simple yet it impacted me in a big way. It is a Roman proverb that goes like this: "When you lose your sails, row.".

I don't know why but this simple phrase seriously stuck with me. Its so true in all of life, in particular I was struck by how it applies to marriage. Sometimes things are going great, we have the wind in our sails moving us forward. And other times things are rocky, there is turbulence. Should we jump ship? Should we hide in the galley hoping to avoid dealing with what is going on? No! We put in the hard work of rowing and pushing forward even though things are hard. We persevere even when we want to give up.

Life isn't easy, marriage isn't easy. But when hard times come we have the choice to give up or press on. And while sometimes I am tempted to abandon hope, ultimately I choose instead to cling to hope. Because that is what He wants us to do and that is what I hope to teach my children to do as well.

Romans 5:3-4 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

1 Corinthians 13:6-7 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

James 1:12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Hebrews 10:36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Ladies Retreat

This past weekend was my church's annual ladies retreat. I was privileged to be a part of the team of ladies who helped to plan and execute this event. Lots of work over many months went into this. We had a fantabulous speaker (my friend Leah's mom) who shared some of the hills and valleys that she has been through while traveling the Path that is her life. She has a wonderful heart for God and a lot of energy.


She got us all playing some really crazy fun junior high games. Its so great to see church ladies let loose and have fun together!!
It was a real blessing to spend the weekend with all these wonderful ladies.