Celebrate Your Kid

It has been a fun but challenging summer. The kids have really been pushing my buttons these past few weeks. I've needed reminding of some basic truths about parenting and love.

I just love these "Kathyisms"!! Little nuggets of truth and encouragement to help me be a better mom! Thanks Kathy Koch!


 Kathyism #27- "Raise the Children You Were Given" from Dr. Kathy Koch on Vimeo.

I love my children SO much. But its not always easy to not wish they were different in this way or that way. The challenges they bring to the table for me as a mom are infinitely more than anything I imagined I would have to deal with when I dreamed of being a mom. I am so thankful that my kids are quick to forgive because I have not been my best self lately. Hoping the routine of the school year will help bring about some better habits for me.

Carly's Voice - Autism Awareness

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I just watched this video with Nate a couple of weekends ago. I explained that a girl who is nonverbal and not unlike Joe and Christine helped make this video to show what its like to be inside her mind/body. It shows how sights and sounds are amplified. Nate asked if that was how Joe and Christine see and hear things. I said probably and asked him what he thought of it. He said it was a little scary. It breaks my heart when I think about Joe and Christine being so frustrated and misunderstood all the time. But after learning more about Carly Fleischmann's story it also gives me hope and a little better understanding of what my own children might be dealing with on a daily basis.

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In honor of Autism Awareness Month I want to encourage you to help raise awareness and acceptance of autism and other developmental disorders. Currently, 1 in 68 children is diagnosed with Autism. Frankly, I had hardly heard of it before we began our personal journey into the special needs world. Now I hear the word everywhere.

I know it may not always easy to understand people with disabilities, but we can treat them with compassion and caring instead of pushing them away. If there is someone that you know who has autism or has a child with a disability, try reaching out to them. Remind them that they are not alone.

Hearts at Home Mom's Weekend!!

Another March... another Hearts at Home conference for this gal! This marks my third Hearts at Home conference and I have loved each and every one. I mean, what is not to like about a weekend away from home with your girlfriends where you basically go to "mommy-classes"?

The theme this year is "Love Your Life". Whew... frankly, not always an easy task around here! But it was refreshing hearing stories from other moms and being reminded that its not always easy for anyone to love their life. But with His help we can love the phase of life we are in no matter what phase that is.

We made goodie bags for the weekend with special treats including shirts that I'd freezer paper stenciled to go with the conference's theme.

 

Hearts at Home is promoting the soon to be released Mom's Night Out movie. Sarah Drew (the lead actress in that movie, and of Grey's Anatomy) shared about her mom's powerful reaction to the movie. I saw a screening a couple of weeks ago.  SO good!!

 

The featured comedian and mc for the weekend was Sally Bauke (pronounced bow-key) was a delight! She was so thoroughly entertaining she kept us laughing the whole time. I thought I might actually need one of the piddle pads she kept referencing.  ;-) 

 

The keynote speakers were Dr. Kathy Koch of Celebrate Kids and Angela Thomas. Each of them has a unique testimony that reached our hearts. God is seriously using these ladies for His glory. What a blessing it was to hear them share this weekend! Such wisdom and heart!

 My girl Lehi and I were pretty excited to meet MoneySavingMom! Her workshops were so great.  She has such practical tips for organizing your life and saving your family money. We're going through her new book Saying Goodbye to Survival Mode together.

 

Once again, this was a weekend to remember that I am thankful to have shared with these lovely ladies! Its a time of learning and fellowship. Its a time of tears and laughter.

 

 Personally... I think Hearts at Home should be quarterly.  ;-)  Waiting a whole year for another Hearts at Home conference is too long!

Sticks and Stones

I had a conversation the other day with a dear friend as we were just relaxing and watching our kids play.  We somehow randomly got on the topic of how hurtful words stick in your mind and sometimes even effect the choices that you make.  We even remembered specifically that there were things that other people had said to us that kept us from becoming friends when she first began attending our church.  What a shame that we missed out on a great friendship for that period of time when we both could have used it.

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. – Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)


While it is good and wise to seek council from other believers and use it to help us make choices in our life when needed, we should not let the negativity of others effect our decisions.  We should seek His council above all others'. 

“Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.”  ― Jodi Picoult, Salem Falls 

As I've been thinking about the scenario above I am ashamed of myself.  I let the careless words of someone keep me from reaching out to the "new girl".  What was I thinking at that time?  What made me put so much value in those words that it stopped me from welcoming a fellow believer into our church and into my home?

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1, ESV 

I am focusing on intentionally building relationships this year, both growing and nurturing old friendships, but also reaching outside my comfort zone and making new ones as well.  And naturally, my words are a big part of how that happens.  I want my words to be encouraging and uplifting to those who hear and read them.  I hope and pray that I will have an increased awareness of the impact my words may have on those around me.


“Words have power," Isaac answered. Words begin and end wars. They create and destroy families. They break hearts. They heal them. If you have the right words, there's nothin on earth you can't do." ― Lori Handeland, Crave The Moon

 

Being Mom...

In case you haven't noticed... I have not been blogging much in the past few months. I just haven't felt like I had anything worth sharing.  I've been in a bit of a mental/emotional slump.  I look at my life, my daily activities, and wonder: "Is this it?".  I truly believe that my value is not in what I do but in Who made me.  I am a daughter of God and that is something that I cling to on the really hard days.  But sometimes its hard to see past all the diapers and dirty laundry and cooking meals that get complained about and half of it ends up on the floor...  sometimes I need reminded that what I am doing is important, that it matters. 

Why Being A Mom is Enough 

“They don’t see you stand in the bathroom and gather your resolve every morning. They don’t see those of you who mother alone without much support. They don’t see the trips to the car back and forth and back and forth. They don’t see you counting to ten a dozen times before noon. They don’t see you look at the bank account and sigh and try to figure out how to make three meals with what’s left in your pantry. They don’t see you walking into the principals office, doctor’s office, friend’s house and defending your child.

They don’t see bandages placed on knees. Kisses on foreheads at night. Pillows pushed just the right way and blankets tucked to the perfect demands. Laundry folded and folded and folded. Tears that sting your eyes as your keep going. Dinners prepped over the stove. Times of laughter over silly things. Hair brushed and pulled back into pony tails. Prayers over wandering teens. Prayers over little babes. Nights spent sleeping in a chair holding a sick child. Days where the house is a wreck but you’re reading books. The brave smile on your face when you’re weary.

Those things matter.”

Our church always does a program called "Bring Your Gifts to Jesus" every year around Christmas-time.  Its always said that it is not meant to be a talent show or pageant, but a forum for sharing the gifts that God has given us and give those gifts back to Him.  But for someone who doesn't sing, dance or play an instrument it can be discouraging sometimes.  Frankly, seeing all those talents can often remind someone of their lack of talent. 

But if you really think about it, does Jesus put value in "talents" over gifts of service?  I think not.  There are so many gifts given every day by people who love Jesus and love His children that cannot be performed on a stage.  So, this year I requested that a video be played to represent all of the gifts that moms and caregivers give on a daily basis.

3 Queens from Matt Bieler on Vimeo.

That video moves me to tears every time I watch it.  Its beautiful.  If truth be told, when you're in the midst of the diapers and sick kids and doctor visits and sticky floors... it doesn't always feel beautiful.  But God sees it that way.  He knows how hard we work just to keep going.  He knows that we struggle with being satisfied with being "just a mom".  He knows that its a choice we made because we felt it was the best thing for our kids, that we could be working in a "real job" with deadlines and coffee breaks and peer validation.  So while right now the rewards might be few (hugs and kisses), someday we will have treasure waiting for us in heaven. 

"As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem." -  Isaiah 66:13

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -  Matthew 6:19-21

UnWired Mom Challenge

Recently Nate told me that he thinks I spend "um, like 70, no 75% of your day on the computer... sigh...".  While  he's clearly exaggerating, as kids often do... I know I've gotten into the bad habit of spending too much time online.  Its easy to have a legitimate reason to get on the computer (quick check of the email, look up a gluten-free recipe, etc) and then get distracted by this or that and end up on the computer for an hour or more.  Obviously, I have many more important things that I should be spending my time on. 

I want to tame the beast and find a balance in how I spend my time.  Part of the reason its a hard habit to kick is because as a SAHM the internet is often my connection to the world.  Frankly sometimes I use it as an escape.  When I'm having a really frustrating day its easier to lose myself in mindless surfing the web than it is to face the chaos around me.  But I know it is not good for me or my family for me to spend so much of my time this way.  I want to be more deliberate about making actual face-to-face connections happen with my friends, catching up on things that have fallen behind (ahem - housework...), reading more books (both to the kids and for myself), and just playing with my kids more.  We will all benefit if I make a few changes.

Its for those reasons that for the next two weeks I am joining Sarah Mae and other moms in a quest to kick our internet habit and be more intentional moms.  She has put together the UnWired Mom 14-Day Challenge to help and encourage moms to not be consumed by the internet.  We're not alone... join with other moms who are struggling too.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31 - See more at: http://sarahmae.com/2013/08/join-the-unwired-mom-challenge/#sthash.qUoq8Jjg.dpuf

The UnWired Mom Challenge is not a stay-off-your-computer-for-two-weeks challenge. It’s a challenge to help you try and break some habits and come up with a vision for living free and whole and un-addicted while still enjoying the benefits of the Internet. - See more at: http://sarahmae.com/2013/08/the-unwired-mom-14-day-challenge-begins-today/#sthash.IA693GD9.dpuf

The UnWired Mom Challenge is not a stay-off-your-computer-for-two-weeks challenge. It’s a challenge to help you try and break some habits and come up with a vision for living free and whole and un-addicted while still enjoying the benefits of the Internet.

- See more at: http://sarahmae.com/2013/08/the-unwired-mom-14-day-challenge-begins-today/#sthash.IA693GD9.dpuf

The UnWired Mom Challenge is not a stay-off-your-computer-for-two-weeks challenge. It’s a challenge to help you try and break some habits and come up with a vision for living free and whole and un-addicted while still enjoying the benefits of the Internet.

- See more at: http://sarahmae.com/2013/08/the-unwired-mom-14-day-challenge-begins-today/#sthash.IA693GD9.dpuf

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

Proscrastination...

I have had the same half dozen things at the top of my To Do List for weeks... maybe more like months. 

I guess I should explain a little bit.  When my husband worked for his parents' business he had a little more freedom and he was able to take care of most of the insurance and medical paperwork and phone calls, etc.  Well, since he has been at his current job for the past year he does not have the same flexibility he had before.  So, those responsibilities have fallen to me. I'll admit something to you all.  I have not risen to the occasion...  I have cowered.

As some of you may know dealing with Medicaid and Insurance and the medical community is not always sunshine and roses.  Often there is a lot of jumping through hoops and filing lots of paperwork and making lots of tedious phone calls to people who claim to know what they're talking about and are supposed to be there to help you but seem to be as tired and frustrated and ignorant as I do.  Some days I have felt crippled by the anxiety about the impending phone calls and necessary hoops I will inevitably be jumping through.  Taking care of this paperwork and faxing it to this person, who will send it to so-and-so who will be calling me back with questions... its mentally and emotionally exhausting just thinking about it.

So I kept put things off.  Among other things, several phone calls needed to be made to get Christine scheduled for outpatient therapy since she aged out of First Steps and cannot continue to get therapy through them.  But I've been frustrated and disappointed and disrespected so many times that I just did not want to deal with it.  I didn't want another person to treat me like I'm stupid, or tell me that this service or that service is not covered.  I just feel like those phone calls suck the life out of me.  It puts me in a bad place emotionally.  Frankly, it often puts me in pit of depression that it takes days (or weeks) to work my way out of.

At some point I finally accepted that I could not put these off any longer.  But I knew I needed a plan to take care of the phone calls without them getting the best of me.  So I came up with a few things to help me do my best.

- Prioritize - 
I sat down and figured out which items on my list were most important.  There were a couple that I was able to rule out as unnecessary or at least something that legitimately could be put off for a later date.  The ones that needed to be addressed right away I moved to the top of the list.

- Get Organized -
I created a list of the phone numbers that I would be needing to call so that I could tackle them all at once instead of having to scramble to find this number or that one in between each phone call.

- Write It Down -
One of the things that I was afraid of was not knowing what to say or forgetting something that I meant to ask, etc.  So I wrote down a series of questions that I needed answered.

- Get and Early Start -
There were many days when I would try to get up the nerve to tackle my call list all day and finally feel ready to do it late in the afternoon when it was really too late to accomplish the task since business hours often end between 4 and 5pm.  Then that would give me another reason to put it off.

- Occupy the Kids -

When you have kids its often difficult to carry on a serious conversation while they are tugging at your legs or trying to get you to do this or that for them.  So, be proactive and find something to entertain your children for awhile so that you can make your phone calls uninterrupted.  I found that the best way for me to accomplish this was to put Joe and Christine down for naps and let Nate have some tablet time.  Ah... silence.  ;-)

- Rely on God -
While we should always do our best at whatever we do, we should find a balance and also realize that He is taking care of every detail.  Whatever our prayer is God has an answer.  Sometimes it may be "no", but if that is the case then its because He has something else (usually better) in mind for us.  Take a deep breath and know that our lives are in the hands of the One True God.  It is so freeing when we rest in that knowledge.


Here are a few other helpful posts on this topic:

Real Simple  -  How to Stop Procrastinating

Life Organizers  -  7 Easy Ways to Stop Procrastinating

Get Motivated Stay Motivated  -  How to Overcome Procrastination

Prolific Living  -  18 Radical Ways to Stop Procrastination


I know there is no perfect formula and every situation is different.  But I hope that these suggestions will help you tackle whatever it is that you're putting off.  Because the fear of something is almost always worse than the thing itself.


Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.-  Proverbs 12:25

Desperate Study

For a few summers early in my motherhood journey I was blessed to be a part of a couple of book studies that were facilitated by a wonderful friend/mentor, Julie.  She has four grown sons and several grandchildren that are her shining glory.  She took us newer moms under her wing and brought us together to learn from her and from one another.  What a time of growing and learning it was.  Over the course of those summers we read Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel, Boundaries by Townsend and Cloud, and Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl.  Each had its own lessons to teach us and I still refer back to what I learned during those studies.

But phases of life change and sometimes circles of friends change... and its been quite awhile since our last study.  There has been nothing to fill that space.  I have been longing for something to happen and I will admit there have been times when I have wanted to blame my church because my needs were not being met.  But one day I realized that what I was missing was not a program, or even a book study itself but the companionship and the camaraderie that I felt when I was a part of a group that connected.  I have been lacking consistent encouragement from other mothers.

Rather than continue to play the blame game I decided to make things happen.  I had been seeing posts and emails from SarahMae about her new book coming out ( Desperate - Hope for the Mom who Needs to Breathe) and immediately connected with the premise of the book.  I facebooked a few other moms telling them about Desperate and my desire to have a book study.  I was not sure what to expect.  Sometimes my ideas fly and others they fall flat.  But I was not alone in my need to connect and while scheduling is always interesting we settled on a day/time/place and began meeting together to fellowship and discuss the book.  

Its not the usual crowd. We have a couple girls from church, one new girl, my neighbor and one girl who was a part of the some of the summer books studies I shared about earlier.  But we all have younger kiddos (and lots of them).  If we all brought all our kids we'd have eighteen!  Unfortunately this has been a terrible winter for colds and flu so there was hardly a week when everyone could actually be there at the same time.  Regardless of attendance we always seemed to get some good conversations and discussion going (albeit a little side tracked once in awhile).

Thankful for the time we have been able to meet and share our thoughts on the book and life.  Its been a real blessing to get to know you gals better!


 Always concentrate on how far you have come, rather than how far you have left to go. The difference in how easy it seems will amaze you. - Heidi Johnson.

Hearts at Home - No More Perfect Moms!

This was my second Hearts at Home conference and it just keeps getting better!  This year we got a hotel pretty close to the Illinois State University campus where Hearts at Home's national conference is held every year.  Nothin' fancy... just a HoJo but it was clean and had free continental breakfast.  ;-)  Friday night we attended the Moms' Night Out event featuring comedian (and mom) Anita Renfroe.  Hilarious! She was so fun!  And the music for the weekend was provided by Meredith Andrews.  I'd never heard of her but she was great.  Besides, you gotta love (or hate) a mom who gave birth on her bathroom floor and rock skinny jeans less than a month later.  ;-)

Its amazing to see the masses of women invade the college campus!  This year nearly five thousand moms attended the conference!  The theme was No More Perfect Moms (taken from Jill Savage's new book of the same name) and there were tons of great workshops offered.

 

While I was struggling to choose my workshops (there really were a lot that sounded great) I decided to choose one parenting, one marriage and one for myself.  In the end I attended Real Ways to Connect with Your Kids - Kathi Lipp, Fill Up to Pour Out - Lynn Cowell, What Your Man Most Wants You to Know - Shaunti Feldhahn, and Special Moms for Special Kids - Laura Sniff and Libby Raab.  I really feel that I learned from each of my workshops.

The keynote speakers were Jill Savage (founder of Hearts at Home) and Candace Cameron Bure (DJ from Full House!).  As always I love Jill's candidness when she speaks.  She shares intimate moments and silly stories that remind us we're not alone and none of us are perfect.  And Candace was great!  I halfway expected her message to be fluff.  Sorry, Candace!  ;-)  But instead it was down to earth and full of biblical truths and insight into how she came to know Jesus.  Basically she's just like the rest of us, trying to be the wife and mother that God wants her to be.  I am pretty sure that if she knew I was alive, we would totally be friends!

 

One phrase that I heard a few times over the weekend was "Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides."   Its so true.  So often we see people's lives through this filter of comparison when we should be viewing everything through the lens of Christ.  Romans tells us that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God".  And frankly don't we all fall short of our own expectations as well? We need to accept ourselves and others' imperfection and encourage one another to be the best we can be without expecting anyone or anything to be perfect. And that is OK!  

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Ugly Truth

While this is hardly a booming blog... I do find through comments made in person that I have more readers than I would think.  And I know from being an avid blog reader myself that it can be easy to see the pretty pictures and think that a person's house/family/life must be just as pretty and perfect as said pictures... well, its just not true.

I appreciated the post on The Unlikely Homeschool on this topic.  Jamie came clean and reminded her readers that she isn't perfect and what we read on her blog (as well as most others) is just what the blogger wants you to see.  How many blogs show the dirty dishes in their sink, piles of laundry or the ring around their tub?  Not many.

But honestly, we need to show that more.  Our readers... heck, our friends need to know that we are a mess.  That we don't always have it all together.  That our seemingly well-behaved kids are occasionally little dare-devils who disobey and throw tantrums.  Sometimes we are too busy to remember to shower or get to the end of the day are so tired that we would rather leave a sink full of dishes and just veg out on the couch with our husband in the evening...

Here is a pix that I posted on facebook awhile back.  Cute Christmas crafting... right?   But if you look behind the kids you can see my cluttered kitchen counter.  And beneath the table that the kids are sitting at...

This is not an uncommon sight at our house.  Joe and Christine are terribly messy eaters.  I can't bring myself to sweep a half a dozen times a day.  So it often looks just like this. 

There is freedom in sharing those parts of our lives that we often try to keep hidden.  And it creates bonds with people around us because they can then feel comfortable letting us see their secret selves as well.  Relationships are meant to grow and if we do not let our friends see us for who we really are (messiness and all) then our friendships will become stagnant.  So, break out of your shell and have a friend over without cleaning the house first.  Don't be afraid to serve peanut butter and jelly (on tortillas because you're out of bread)... let them in and they'll love you more for it!

 Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

 

Desperate Imperfect Moms

I think it would be safe to say that as moms we all have days when things are overwhelming.  Between keeping up the house and taking care of the kids (and the husband)... its easy to compare ourselves to other moms (real or fake) and become discouraged because we don't feel that we measure up.  I myself fall into this trap far too often.  I enjoy following blogs of other moms and while for the most part that is a harmless act, sometimes my perception gets distorted.  I compare my messy house to a picture perfect one on so-and-so's blog.  Or I feel like a bad mom because I don't have perfectly planned nutritious homemade dishes for every meal.  Or I convince myself that I must be a crappy mom because there must be someone out there doing a better job at it than I am... and then I put on the happy face and tell everyone I'm fine but I'm not because I keep feeding myself those dangerous thoughts that are really just a bunch of poison that sucks the joy out of being a mom and wife.... whew!  Its exhausting just typing all that negativity.  How do we carry on daily life with that filling our heads?

I do not think there is a magic answer to this cycle that myself and many others find ourselves in.  But seeking the wisdom of other, more experienced moms is one thing that I think we can do.  Reaching out within our church or community and finding other mothers to connect with is so important.  Another way to hear from other moms is through the written word.  So many moms are writing books for women like them now.  Because they have been through what we're going through and they know how hard the days (and sometimes nights) can be as a mom.  They want to offer advice and encouragement to help us recapture the joy of motherhood that some of us have lost.

I have two books coming in the mail that I am eager to read and share with other moms.  Hearts at Home's Jill Savage is about to release her newest book: No More Perfect Moms - "Learn to Love your Real Life".  I've read a few of her other books and seen her speak at Hearts at Home conferences.  Jill is so truthful and candid about her experiences (both good and bad) as a wife and mom.  In her book “No More Perfect Moms”, Jill speaks honestly about the pressures we face when society tells us we should have perfect kids, homes, lifestyles and marriages.

The other is written by fellow bloggers Sarah Mae(the mom of young ones) and Sally(the seasoned mother/mentor): Desperate - Hope for Moms who need to Breathe.  Desperate will lead you to hope, refreshing your ideals, while helping and inspiring you as you embrace this profound  journey of motherhood. No formulas or rules to keep, but a relationship, a coffee-talk between two friends, who give life and love to one another amidst the realities of life.


Its time that we stop the cycle.  No more trying to do everything the way everyone else does and hating ourselves when we fail.  No more feeling like nothing I ever do is good enough.  No more facing our struggles alone.  Grab a fellow mom (or more) and share your life.  Whether you choose one of these books or another or none at all, the point is to connect and be transparent with one another and share your trials and joys. Don't be afraid to let your fellow mom see your house when its cluttered and the floor is sticky from grape juice spilled days ago.  Don't be afraid to tell someone that you feel like pulling your hair out and you need a "mommy time out" sometimes.  Don't be afraid to be proud of yourself and your fellow mom for the things that you do right every day.  Don't be afraid to offer a hug and a helping hand to other moms who are going through the trenches of motherhood alongside you.

Practice carrying one other's burdens. In this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  Galatians 6:2 

 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Philippians 1:6


***** I have a copy of Desperate to give away.  Please leave a comment on this post and tell me why you would like a copy.  I will choose a winner on January 25th.  That is my mother-in-law's birthday.  And while she plays the role of practically perfect grandma to my kids and nephews now, I know she was a desperate mom at one time too.  ;-)  ***** This giveaway is over.

Grandma Says: Parent Power

Articles that appear from Grandma Says are focused on general parenting practices and philosophy and are not as age-specific as articles that appear in Growing Child.

"Grandma Says" is a feature of Growing Child and we encourage you to send your comments to: GrandmaSays@GrowingChild.com

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PARENT POWER

This is a true story. My granddaughter Rose has attended Villa Heights, a very good magnet school within her school district for the past two plus years.

Last fall, the school board announced that they planned to close this school, and merge it with a failing school across town.

It didn't seem to make good sense to many people to try to improve a failing school by closing one that succeeded so well. So, the families involved in the school, including my son and daughter-in-law, decided to try to save their school.

They worked closely as a team, contacting individual school board members and inviting them for visits, to see why this unique school worked so well, and how its uniqueness could be lost with the change.

They wrote letters and e-mails, made telephone calls and visits. They planned and worked together, and they persisted for a period of months.

Finally, the school board announced that they had reversed their original decision, and would allow Villa Heights to continue to exist. One school board member specifically mentioned the power of the parent action in making their decision.

Tell your friends to sign up for a free subscription of Grandma Says at www.GrowingChild.com/FreeGrandmaSays.

I tell this story because it is enormously important that parents understand that one of their important roles is to advocate for their children. The world has gotten increasingly large and complex, with bureaucratic administrative decisions often not being made in the interest of anything but some bottom line.

As things go wrong in many communities, quick fixes are often sought which are definitely not necessarily in the best interests of children and their families. At times it may seem as though individual parents can do little in the face of a steamrolling system.

But this is not so. Parents are the ones who know what is best for their children, and they are the only ones who can make those ideas known loud and clear. What a triumph for this group of parents, who refused to give up on the excellent school, and insisted that others pay attention to what they already knew about the importance of keeping their school.

What a lesson for their children as well, to discover that individual opinions do have an impact and can influence the course of events. The systems of government they learn about in school seem remote and all-powerful, but this experience helped them understand that in a democracy, individual efforts can be extremely effective.

This was a concrete lesson in learning that working for an idea may have powerful effect, and that we are not helpless to take action on our own behalf.

The children also understood that their education was important enough for busy parents to attend meeting after meeting, to spend hours working on the common cause. What better self-esteem booster could parents give their children than to show such support for their school!

As parents, you will encounter situations in your own communities that are not providing optimum conditions for your children, whether it is television advertising, unsafe neighborhoods, or mediocre schools.

Keep this story as a reminder that parents have the power to effect change on their children's behalf. And only parents who want the best for their children have the emotional strength to persist and the power to succeed.

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© Growing Child 2009 Please feel free to forward this article to a friend.

Receive your free subscription of Grandma Says at www.GrowingChild.com/FreeGrandmaSays or contact Growing Child customer service at service@growingchild.com or call (800) 927-7289