Saturday, January 15, 2011

Another Delay

A couple of Sundays ago at church we had a sharing time. A middle aged woman shared about how years ago she'd had trouble with her basement flooding and she prayed daily that God not let her basement get flooded again. She prayed faithfully for that. And one day she came home from work to find the whole basement under water. She said she lost it. She couldn't even deal with it. She just went to bed and waited until the next day before she went through the motions of getting things taken care of. In the end insurance paid for everything and she got her basement fixed, new carpet, etc. What was a terribly frustrating and exhausting experience ended up being a blessing in disguise.
I share her story because it really hit home with me - brought me to tears. I feel like seeing Christine's delays is like watching my basement flood. We've been through all this with Joe and I know how hard it is. I just want to crawl in bed and not deal with it. And right now I just cannot see what good could come of this. Why is this happening? How does any of it glorify Him?
And I just found out that because of insurance issues I cannot even get Christine in to see a doctor (which needs to happen before First Steps will come and evaluate her for services) until next month probably. The doctors that I am interested in seeing are not under the plan that Christine was under and the process to get her switched to another plan takes a ridiculous 2-4weeks. I am so tired and frustrated. But in spite of all that is going on that is causing me to worry and stress out Christine is a bright ray of sunshine in my day. Her smiles and giggles never cease to make me smile. She is good natured and is a great sleeper. I could not ask for a better baby. Even now she is laying on the floor next to me batting at her toys and jabbering away. I can only hope and pray that her delays will be just a minor thing and that she will catch up in time and that it will not be a lifelong struggle for her and for me.


Kelli M said...

You poor thing how kids have some delays due to being twins and not having enough space in th womb...and I was stressed about them, but in the big picture they were no big deal and they are right on track now and we had no mental delays...I just don't know how you do it. Watching your children struggle like you have had to with Joe would be so hard. I am praying for you too!

Francie R said...

praying with you, I can only imagine how you must feel. sending you many hugs and much love.

A. T. said...

Oh, lawana, I'm struggling between saying, "I'm so sorry," & encouraging you to remember that none of this is a surprise to her Father- who created her "just perfect"-- exactly as He intended her to be.
Joe & Christine are called to be godl...y, incredible people.... & they will be. even tho you may feel, some days, like you fail them (&, don't we all? Just chronically fail our poor kids sometimes?) HE WILL NEVER FAIL THEM. They will do great things BECAUSE of who they are in Christ-not in spite of their struggles. I believe that with all that I am.
I hurt for Jack when heft was born with his deformities. What a worldly t, huh? Deformities.....delays.......
who says??
they will be on track with His plan. they may be labeled by society. It happens to the best of us. ;-)
I wil not try to minimize your hurt by saying I know how you feel....because I don't.
but I assure you that i know your family was perfectly placed are the perfect mother for your amazing children.
Strive to dedicate each moment of the day to
Him....staying in constant communion with the Holy Spirit. for, in our own strength, we are SO limited in our patience, our creativity, our endurance!! But, with His strength--our powers are limitless!
Love you. prayers increased for you and your family!

Aunt Deb said...

sorry to hear of the worries with the wee one. We too will lift you all up in prayer.

Leah said...

Lawana, I so appreciate your being open and genuine about this. I like how you shared about Sandra's story. You know what I loved about that story was that she thought flooding would be the worst thing that could happen to her but she didn'...t know. She didn't know how much God would bless her through what she thought would be the hardest trial she could face. She seemed so thankful for the trial when she was sharing that story because she saw the hand of God in a way she couldn't have seen if the flood hadn't happened! I will pray this for you. That God uses these trials to bring about blessings in ways you cannot imagine. That you would come to know intimately what it means that the Holy Spirit is our Comforter. He longs to be this to you in a real way, more real than a spouse relationship!

I love what Alicia wrote because, YES, GOD MADE JOE AND CHRISTINE PERFECT. Amen. He knew about all of this before there was time and His love is behind it all. A wonderful fatherly love that is above all and better than life.

Praying for you daily, my good, dear friend!


Kelli M said...

I am moved by all the wonderful things your friends have to say! God is good!

jill said...

I know people are trying to be encouraging in their comments on your note, but here's what I think. Those moments when your brain is considering wrapping around something that you don't want it to wrap around are very uncomfortable. You hope you don't have to wrap your brain around it and you know that you may not have to. You already know that if you do come to that point you will survive and God will take care of everything. But that time between times when you're unconsciously waiting just plain sucks. I'm praying for you.

Forgetfulone said...

I'm going to keep you in my prayers. Please keep us posted, and vent your frustrations so we can offer encouragement when you need it most.

Anonymous said...

How in the world did I miss this post?

I can only echo what the others have said. But one thing I have come to grips with during some tough situations of my life, is how the end result ended with me HELPING others. Cause I could genuinely say,as I looked in their yes, " I understand".

I can't help but think how many other mommas/people that you will help because - YOU TRULY understand their worries and concerns.

Hugs coming your way.

Anna said...

I stumbled upon your blog from a friend (Megan Mosson), and I just wanted to comment about First Steps - both of our kiddos (4 and 20 months) have been through first steps, and we did not need a dr's approval first. They did send the eval to our ped. to sign off on, but we were able to self-refer to First Steps.

I'm not sure if this is helpful - it sounds like maybe your issue with drs and first steps is more insurance related? but I wanted to help if I could.