Thursday, October 02, 2008

Invisable Woman & Good Mom-Bad Mom

I've had my patience tested on more than one (dozen) occasions today. I really am bummed that I'm not going to be attending Hearts at Home this weekend. I feel a genuine need to get some time away, some solitude, some peace and quiet... but even though that is not going to happen anytime soon I have been encouraged today.
While blog browsing today I came across a video on motherhood. I think I've heard this story before but watching this video I found on My Semblance of Sanity today brought me to tears.


Then, while checking my email I got a forward from a friend from my care group. This is it:

Good Mom, Bad Mom, Good Mom

Lysa TerKeurst

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

Devotion:

Good Mom? Bad Mom? Good Mom? Bad Mom?

Do you ever feel as though you are the ping-pong ball in a heated match bouncing constantly between feeling like a good mom to a bad mom?

One minute I have a great discussion where my child finally gets it... GOOD MOM!

The next I get an e-mail from a teacher that lists the three parents who have yet to turn in that permission slip and I am on the list for all the world to see... BAD MOM!

I calmly handle the stresses of the morning routine... GOOD MOM!

But then during the afternoon homework session, my child's irresponsibility over a last minute project just about sends me over the edge. I find my neck muscles tensing and my voice rising... BAD MOM!

I make sure they pack something healthy for lunch... GOOD MOM!

The schedule falls apart in the late afternoon and I wind up feeding them sugar cereal for dinner... BAD MOM!

Sometimes I feel like that ping-pong ball mom bouncing from feeling good to bad. Yesterday morning I sat down at the kitchen table after getting everyone where they needed to be and cried. Sometimes having kids is the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Other days I feel like the task of parenting little people is driving me to the brink of craziness.

Just the other day I was processing some recent family things with my friend, Renee, over the phone. Suddenly a strange theme seemed to arise. I just started laughing. I told Renee that so many of my days seemed to tell the same kind of story... I was on the verge of a breakdown and then I spent time with Jesus and He made things better.

Renee quipped back to me, "Well, isn't that where most of us live every day?"

Not that we are on the edge of a breakdown, but we live in a place of utter dependence on God. I know as a mom, I live in constant need of His love, encouragement, wisdom, perspective, strength, patience, and grace.

Anything I do right as a mom is because of my constant dialogs with God.

Anything I do wrong as a mom is because of trying to do things in my own strength and slap wearing myself out.

That's where grace steps in. And I need lots of grace. God's grace steps in and says, “Lysa, you are doing better than you think. Stop bouncing from feeling good to bad to good to bad. In the good times, rejoice and thank me. In the not so good times, call out to me quickly."

And suddenly it occurred to me; with God I'm never a bad mom. I might be having a bad moment... or two... or seventeen. But a few bad moments do not define me as a bad mom.

God's grace is there to cover me. Teach me. And even in the middle of a bad moment, interrupt me, redirect me, and change me.

Forgiveness is there. Love is there. A second chance is there.

You are a good mom my friend even if, like me, you’ve had a few bad moments... you is the exact mom God knew your children needed. Let's live in that truth today.

Dear Lord, being a mom is a great privilege but one that can be so challenging at times. Teach me how to lean on You with every action and every reaction. And when I mess up, please help me to not define myself by my mommy failures. Help me to only be defined by Your love that assures me and Your grace that covers me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Visit Lysa TerKeurst’s blog for a list of Scriptures every mom should have.

Love Notes in Lunchboxes and Other Ideas to Color Your Child’s Day by Linda Gilden

The Bathtub is Overflowing but I Feel Drained by Lysa TerKeurst

Application Steps:

Find a verse today that could help redirect an angry or frustrated response with your kids. There are some good ones listed below in the power verses. Or you can search out one that specifically applies to your unique struggles. When you feel your temper about to flare, have this verse handy and quote it out loud. In that moment ask God to give you a wiser response than your natural feelings.

Reflections:

Do you ever struggle with being defined by your mistakes rather than by the truth of God? Spend some time in prayer today asking God to give you His loving perspective of how He sees you. Rest in his lavish love. If you need to ask for forgiveness for some of your actions, do this and then let these things go.

Power Verses:

Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (NIV)

James 1:5-6, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” (NIV- emphasis mine)

© 2008 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org



1 comment:

Toni said...

Okay, I'm going to share something with you that is soooo cool. When she opened the book on the great cathedrals, the page she opened to showed Mission San Xavior Del Bac. Guess what! I just mentioned that mission in my Tucson post this past week because we took our children there to see it. I've been there many times and it was very special to finally take our children there.

I'll be posting photos of the inside of the mission in an upcoming post. It is INCREDIBLE to see. Loved this video. TFS.
Blessings,
~Toni~