Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Under the Microscope

Here's an update on Josiah. Yesterday some therapists from First Steps came out to do the evaluation. There was a Physical therapist and a Developmental therapist and they spent an hour or two asking us questions about Joe's development and playing with him, testing him to see what he could and couldn't do, etc. The ladies were both very nice, but I still felt a little under the microscope. Every little thing that he did and didn't do was documented. They were challenging him to do things that I knew he wouldn't even attempt. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I think I was bracing myself, waiting for blame to be placed or something (I know, I'm paranoid - it's my mom-complex flaring up again). They kept saying what a sweet boy he was... which a normal person would take as a compliment, but no, I have to read imaginary things into it. Isn't that the kind of compliment you give to someone when there is nothing else to say? I know, I'm a sick person. But he really is a sweet boy - so why do I have to taint a genuine compliment and true statement with my negativity? sigh... I get on my own nerves sometimes! Anyway, after much paperwork they got ready to go. Joe was so tired from being challenged so much. Technically they weren't supposed to talk to us about their findings/diagnosis but off the record they both said they'll be recommending that he see both a PT and DT along with getting his vision and hearing tested. They did give us some exercises that we can be doing with him in the mean time - because it will be a few weeks before therapy actually gets started. I'm weary just thinking of all the days/weeks/months/maybe even years of having to do physical therapy with him. I have days when its all I can do to just get through a normal days activities now. Sometimes I don't feel like I am strong enough to do what needs to be done to help him. But I guess thats probably exactly where God wants me to be, so all I can do is rely on Him.
So, I wouldn't quite say that I feel much better than I did before. I still have concerns and worry about whats gonna happen in the next few months especially, but at least we are moving forward now. Friday the 29th will be a meeting to discuss his treatment plan, etc.
We'd still appreciate prayers at this is likely to be a long and tedious process.
By the way.... yesterday was my 28th (gasp) birthday. It was nice to have the calls and emails with birthday wishes. I got out of cooking! Yeah. My sister made me a wonderful loaf of banana bread... mmmmm.... I might have to go have a piece now. My mom and I went out to lunch (her birthday is today). My husband's gift to me is going to be setting up a craft/scrapbooking area for me upstairs in his music room. So we're shopping around for a desk. I'm so excited! Right now its so hard for me to get any crafts/scrapping done because Nate is always getting into my stuff when its out. So I'm really limited as to when I can do stuff, then its a pain to get it down out of the closet every time. Anyway, so I'm really looking forward to having a little space where I can be organized or at least try to be. All in all it was an alright birthday. Once you're a "grown-up" and have kids your own birthdays become boring and uneventful and I look forward more to my kids' birthdays! So, yeah, I guess I gotta explain this Strawberry Shortcake cake... well, when I was a little kid we didn't usually have big birthday parties with our friends over. But for my eighth birthday I had a Strawberry Shortcake party. My mom made this awesome cake and we had party favors... the whole works. She is supermom. Not perfect, but amazing none the less.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing about Jo! I've been praying everyday. Don't feel like a 'sick person', you aren't!! You are totally normal and this is your 1st time going through this and I can only imagine it's a bit scary. I'd be acting the same way as you, if not worse. But, God is good, that is what you can trust!

I am so excited to hear about your scrappin' room, yeeeeehaw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update! I'll be praying for you. I know it's tough having concerns about your little one like this.

Anonymous said...

Lawana Marie,

I have already been praying for you but you are a GREAT MOTHER there is no need for any blame silly girl! He is a beautiful happy boy and all will work out. Keep us posted.

Luv Ya

Aunt Mary

Anonymous said...

Sorry you don't have more answers, but I am also so THankful you have 1st steps to help out. :-) Josiah will be in our prayers.

Anonymous said...

wow you are old, I mean wise!! I hope everything is ok with Josiah let me know when you know more!!

Anonymous said...

I love how brave you that you would share your concerns about Josiah with the world. You are an amazing mother and wife and friend, never question that. Everything will work out with Joe in Gods timing. I hope you aren't crying. If you ever need anything I am just a phone call away.

Love always
- J

Anonymous said...

In all the world there is only one "you" - one unique person with your own special qualities. May you always follow your heart and trust your abilities, knowing that those who love and believe in you find so much joy in the wonderful person you are.
Happy Birthday.
All our love and prayers are with you.
- Mom and Dad Penrod

JAN said...

Thank you for the update, and for being so honest and vulnerable about everything you're going through. We will continue to pray for you guys....please let us know what you find out when you're given more details.
By the way-Happy Birthday! You'll have to post a picture of your scrapbook area once you get it set up, OK?
Jesus bless you Wani-

Sniz said...

Wani, After all these well-wishes, I don't have much to add but that I totally understand your feelings of wondering if you are strong enough to deal with years of therapy, which I would totally feel too, especially with homeschooling. But love conquers all. You are such a great mother and you love Josiah so much...I bet you won't even think about'll just do what needs to be done one day at a time. I'm praying.

Happy birthday and that is so exciting about your scrap room!!!! I can't wait to see what it looks like when it is done. Did you have fun yesterday?

Amy Schelle said...

Awe Wani..What's wrong with Josiah? I read the blog about him getting treatments...I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for him...