Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Magic in Marriage

Well there has been a lot of blog-talk about some steamy stuff lately.  There is this book out called 50 Shades of Grey and it is getting a lot of attention.  I saw it in the store and skimmed right over it - as in the photo above, I thought it was about photography (just kidding!).  But since then I have been seeing it everywhere.  And apparently there is this movie out now about strippers or something?  Just kidding. It would be hard to not know about this movie. It is everywhere.  And I know women that have already been to see it.  Typically, I am not one to want to ruffle feathers so I have not really said much on the subject.

But the more I read on this topic, the more I am reminded what is wrong with this movie and other forms of entertainment like it.  In her blog post: Fifty Shades of No - Jill Savage brings up some good points.  She said this: In the same way that potato chips do nothing to nourish my body, movies about male strippers and erotica novels do nothing to nourish my mind.  There’s a reason God tells us in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  He clearly wants us to consume only what is good for our mind.  We've all heard those verses before.  They clearly apply to this situation.

Sheila Gregoire takes a slightly different approach in her post: Magic Mike, Marriage and Women's Libido and she brings up how our culture is trying to change women.  She says this:  For the last hundred years or so there’s been a concerted effort to get rid of morality–and God. People wanted to be free to do what they wanted without being burdened by having to do what’s right, or having God tell them what to do. They didn’t want guilt. They wanted humanism. But what stood in their way? The family. Marriage.  God created marriage and the family... He would want us to take a stand to protect them both.

Then Mrs. Gore uses her blog post: Magic Mike Who?? to remind us what a real man is: Entertainment like this cheapens true masculinity, and paints a deceptive picture of what women should get excited about in men.  So if you’ll indulge me, I would love to help remind my female sisters what “sexy” and “manly” really looks like… A man who communes with his Creator daily and strives to live a life that glorifies God.  A man who reaches down to pick up his little girl when she trips and falls and holds her close until her tears are gone.  There is so much more to being a man than what is portrayed in the media today.

Melissa Jenna is blunt in her commentary and refers to both Magic Mike and 50 Shades of Grey as "mommy porn" on her blog post here: 50 Shades of Magic Mike (in which I am very uncool).  She gets right to the point saying:  Christian women need to reject both of these works, and instead, use our voices in support of what is good, right and true. It is our responsibility, as daughters of the Heavenly King, to remain set-apart from the poisons of our culture, to rebuke temptation, and to celebrate and honor righteousness. 

These women whose articles I have referenced are far more informed and eloquent than I am.  My qualifications are this: I am a daughter of the king, a wife and a mother.  And personally I would not want my husband to watch a movie that is full of female strippers.  So I see it as my way of showing my husband that I love and respect him by choosing to not see this type of movie or read erotic books.

I choose to make my husband my "Magic Mike".  He may not measure up in the world's eyes because he is a little less Channing Tatum and a little more Chris Farley.  But he is a loving and devoted husband and father who is one of the greatest men I have ever known.  He works hard to provide for our family.  He adores me and thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world (who can resist that?).  He rose to the challenge with each of our children's births and was the best labor support person a woman could ask for.  He wrestles and horses around with our kids and gets the best laughs from them.  He accepts my crazy girlfriends from college as family. There is hardly room for me to list the many ways that my husband is wonderful.  He deserves to be the one that I long to turn to for sensual intimacy.

My heart's desire is for my sexual needs to be met by my husband and no one else.  That is how God designed marriage to work.  If we allow erotic movies and the lies that the media tells to get a foothold in our marriage it could destroy what God has created between us.  The work that we both put into our marriage has built bonds that are strong but we are not unbreakable.  It takes making choices like this day after day, putting one another before ourselves... we must be steadfast in order to preserve our precious marriage. I want us to live out these verses in our marriage:

Proverbs 5:15-19 - Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in public, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Don't share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.

Linking up to a few of these lovely blogs.


Sherie said...

Amen, sister! Couldn't have said it better myself!

Tyanne said...

I opened the comment thread with plans to say "Amen, sister!" only to discover that Sherie beat me to it! Oh well, Amen, sister! I have working on a post that is related to this topic. Hope to post next week. You are right on, here, and I'm glad you stopped by my blog!

danielle said...

Good post! I have heard similar arguments for strip clubs for guys. Movies like this come and go, my marriage is forever!

busymomof10 said...

Thanks for speaking the truth!~ I'm honestly surprised that any woman naming the name of Christ would even admit to watching/reading this trash!! But, I guess I shouldn't be . . .

thanks for sharing and fr linking up with me for Marriage Monday!

MB@NewLifeSteward said...

Thanks for linking to the other articles and giving summaries! You are right on target here.

Mary Beth @newlifesteward

Julie R said...

Amen!!! This is an excellent post! Thanks for being bold and posting it!

Beth said...

I've been irritated over the way many of my friends from my church talk about Magic Mike on Facebook lately. So this post hits home for me. I, too, feel that we need to remain pure in a world that constantly seduces us to see sleaze as simply having a good time with our gal pals. I'm so glad that you and others like Jill Savage are speaking out on this, Wani, and revealing the lies! Great post!

Lisa Williams said...

Perfectly written... I've come far in my walk with Christ and even a year ago, I would have jumped on the "Magic Mike and 50 Shades" bandwagon. Maybe that's why it didnt come out until I had no desire to see that stuff... I dunno, but I am glad you wrote this. Really puts things into perspective :)

What Joy Is Mine said...

Wani...I knew nothing of this book or movie until I read another blogger's blog about it. Thank you for reminding us of what God calls us to as His daughters and for sharing at WJIM.

Magic Mike said...

You know, I have to say, this is not an issue in the Black and Latino communities. That women are visually stimulated and blatant objectifiers of the male physique is a no-brainer to them. Their cultures have not yet, and hopefully never will, lose touch of the fact that physical fitness and rhythm (dance) are two traits that play major roles in female sexual attraction. The only people who seem to be surprised are White men. Anyone here who watches black rom-coms will note the objectification of the black male physique to a greater degree than the white male physique is objectified in white rom-coms. There is always at least one scene of shirtless, muscular, sweaty men playing Basketball in every Black rom-com, and its not there for the heterosexual men in the audience, that is for sure. The half naked physically fit muscular male physique and its accompany swagger (rhythm) is showcased throughout those movies. Displays of rhythmic skills in the form of dancing are common.

Watch this video of women movie goers and note their language about Magic Mike from about the halfway mark on.

“if only this movie was in 3D”

“a lot of asses, I’ll say that, you see a lot of asses”

“Enough?” “A decent amount, a decent amount, it’ll definitely get your blood goin’ ”

“Were you so distracted you couldn’t pay attention to the story?”

” A little bit, yeah”

“What made you go and see this movie today?”

“The nudity”

“Can a straight guy go and see this movie?”

“He can get a lot of good tips, I can tell ya that much, us ladies will appreciate it.”

“What do you think of this growing trend of male nudity in movies?”

“I’m all for it.” …. “Finally!” … “Us women we always have to put up with it (female nudity) in every movie, and we’re out there and its like ‘ok sure’ but now with the guys there’s finally something for us. I like it!”

“What was the mood like in the theatre?

“Very verbal.”