Bucket List Update

It has been quite awhile since I updated my Bucket List so I figured it was about time! If you remember, this started out as my 30 by 30 list, but since I am no longer 30... its become my Bucket List. Some of these are more realistic than others, some will be ongoing things that I work on forever. But having them in black and white helps keep me accountable and give me something to work toward.

1. Take a "real" vacation with my husband! Not just to the family lakehouse (though it is nice, It is not the same as really getting away together - ALONE!). ;-) -

DONE – Our Wisconsin trip in '09 was great. Also, for our 10year anniversary we went on a cruise!

2. I want to go to one (and only one) of the following: Colts game, Pacers game OR the Indy 500.... Those are huge Indianapolis things to do and I've lived here my whole life and not done any of them! * Changed to sporting event with hubby. So that includes the Cubbies. - DONE – Sallie took me to Pacers game (front row seats and all!) and Isaac and I went to a Cubs game in Cincy. And last year we got some tickets to a Colts home game at Lucas Oil Stadium!

3. Go on a trip with my "girls". We've been talking about doing it for years but none of us has had the money... but somehow we need to make it happen!! - Done... sort of. I want this to be an every couple of years thing. I don't think just one trip is gonna do it. But I did have a great trip with a couple of my favorite ladies in the fall of 2012. This summer I got to visit Savannah, Georgia with two of my college pals!

4. Watch a silent movie. I don't know why but I think it'd be really fun! Charlie Chaplain here I come! – AFI Top 100 - DONE - for my 32nd birthday my hubby planned this really great at-home-date that included a home-cooked meal (by him) and a silent movie on a projector screen. It was so great!

5. Going to a scrapbooking retreat with a group of my Scrappin' Sisters! This one will totally happen! Right girls?!? - DONE – we did a DIY retreat at the lake.

6. Take my older son to an amusement OR water park. He loved the carnival rides at the county fair... I know he'd love the kiddie area of Kings' Island or Holiday World... something like that. -

DONE – we went to Great Wolf Lodge. Still hope to go to an amusement park someday. ;-)

7. Get really good outdoor family pictures taken of us and the boys. I'm a photographer myself... but it is hard to do your own family's pictures! - DONE – I can't bring myself to spend a fortune on an expensive photographer but I am willing to spend a little by having friends do our pix, or by getting a deal on Groupon and so far I've been really happy with them.

8. Have my entire house clean at the same time. (I'm not saying I will do said cleaning... just that it will be done!) - Um, yeah. Not sure if this will ever happen but one can always hope! In the mean time I am working on developing a better routine for household upkeep.

9. Ok, please don't laugh or think I'm awful! I want to go skinny dipping! Though I'll probably have to do it alone because my husband does not do water.... DONE.  ;-)

10. Do some community service OR mission trip. I've kind of let stuff like that sit on the back burner since I had kids and I think it'd be good to give in that way again. DONE - family pictures for Sheltering Wings families a couple of times now.

11. I know this sounds lame but... I want to own a minivan. It is hard having two kids in car seats in a small sedan! It'd be nice to have my siblings be able to ride with us instead of having to drive separate cars! - DONE – love it! Thank goodness we got it when we did because now that we have three kids we could not all fit in the Cavalier together.

12. Feel comfortable in my own skin. Whether that includes losing weight, getting in better shape, or not... I just want to be able to look at myself and love me without being so critical of myself and pointing out all my flaws. - ** Its a work in progress. I think every pregnancy has given me more and more of an appreciation for my body even if I don't always like how it looks. Major milestone... I did a boudoir session last summer! Talk about empowering!

13. Get better at managing my time... sometimes I feel like I work all day and get nothing done! There has to be a better way! -I'm trying to get the hang of the FLY Lady thing!  Fly lady didn't work out for me... but I just finished reading Say Goodbye to Survival Mode by MoneySavingMom and I'm trying to use her tools to help create better habits and use my time and money more wisely.

14. Paint our master bedroom. It’s a fairly inexpensive way to change the look of a room and I think it’d help me to be satisfied w/ our hand-me-down furniture instead of longing for something new. - DONE – love it!

15. Get in touch with a few old friends that I haven’t talked to in awhile. I know that some friends are seasonal friends and aren’t meant to last forever… but sometimes it is nice to catch up with people that you’ve lost touch with too. *Done - I have been able to reconnect with some old friends via facebook.

16. Read a Jane Austen book. I loved the movies of her books and I liked The Jane Austen Book Club… I think it’d be fun to make an “all Jane Austen all the time book club” of my own! - this seemed like a good idea at the time... but I have a hard time reading books if I've already seen the movie. So I'm not sure this one is going to happen. ;-) I'll be happy if I can finish just one!! Maybe I will do audiobook?

17. Find a new Christmas tradition to replace gifts. Every year we’re overwhelmed with the amount of toys and stuff that our boys get from friends and family. I want to stop exchanging gifts within our immediate family and take a trip or have a special outing that we do together instead – I’m working on it. We have downsized our gift-giving some.

18. Begin home-schooling. I was home-schooled and while I think there are many advantages to doing it… I’m a little intimidated. I want to get organized enough to do it well. *DONE - Nate is in third grade. Our homeschooling style keeps evolving but no matter how we go about it, he is always learning. We are involved in a homeschool co-op and have lots of homeschooling friends in our church.

19. Decide if we are going to have more kids. When we got married I wanted four kids and Isaac wanted two. Well… after having one via unexpected c-section, and one vbac at home…one who tries my patience daily and the other who pulls at my heartstrings constantly… I’m not sure if I can handle any more kids. - DONE – Christine is the perfect final addition to our family!

20. Expand my photography business. I’ve kind of just let my business be primarily friends and family so far. But I’d like to take it a little more seriously and actually do some marketing and put my business out there for more jobs. I want to do this for two reasons: 1) I love taking pictures and want to improve my skill and a lot of that comes from experience. 2) It would be helpful to our family financially if I was able to bring in some extra income. **  I still have a few gigs here and there for friends and family and that is fine for now. You can see my work HERE.

21. Get all my completed scrapbook pages into albums! I have piles of pages that are stacking up that I have no albums to put them into! - When we staged our house a couple of summers ago I packed up almost all of my scrapbooking stuff and its still in storage. Been making Photobooks on Shutterfly lately. Not the same, but still good.

22. Finish reading through the whole bible with my husband. We got off to a good start awhile back and got out of the habit. Need to start back up and finish this time! - Totally dropped the ball on this one. But want to get back into the groove!

23. Go to a Hearts at Home conference. I’ve wanted to go for a couple of years now and have not been able to work it out. One of these days… it will happen! -

DONE - I have now attended the last three Hearts at Home conferences. Each year I seem to get more out of the experience than I did the year before. It is such a great thing to be a part of. I cannot recommend it enough. Great for moms of all ages and stages!

24. Find a way to show my husband how much I appreciate him. He is such a big part of my life and while he certainly challenges me… I think I take all the good things about him for granted sometimes. - DONE - or so he tells me! ;-) But naturally its an ongoing thing that I try to work on every day.

25. Help make some positive changes to the women’s ministry at my church. I think there are a lot of women who would benefit from some regular fellowship time where we can develop our relationships on a deeper level than what we can do on Sunday mornings.- I am resistant to work on this one right now. Its kind of been a difficult road with our church's leadership. We don't always see eye to eye as far as where we want the direction of women's ministry to go. Still hope to work on this goal in the future.

26. Go see Wicked (or some other live musical). I have always enjoyed musicals and haven’t been to many live shows lately. I’m one of those dorks who will sing along and annoy whoever is sitting next to me!! DONE - I went to Wicked with a few of my best girls last year. LOVED it!!!

27. Become involved in a mom’s group/play group of some kind. - DONE-ish. While we don't have anything structured set up, a few friends and I have been getting together pretty regularly for play/learn dates. I love sharing our lives together!

28. Write out our will. It is not a fun job. No one (ok, I don’t) looks forward to thinking about what will happen when their gone from this world. But it has got to be done.

29. Take a continuing education class for fun. I was looking in the paper a few weeks ago and there were a few that I am interested in: cooking, etiquette, sewing, how to build your photography business, and others. Maybe I could talk someone into doing it with me!

30. Read a book that my husband recommends (from cover to cover!). My DH and I do not have similar taste in books at all. I read mostly fiction with some fluffy self help or DIY books in the mix. He on the other hand reads mostly theological stuff that generally bores me!

New ones:

31. Complete a 5k. I am not aspiring to win one or anything, just think it would be a fun thing to do. 

  - DONE - In July my friend and I dragged my kids out on a Saturday morning and we all did the Color Foam Run together! And just a couple weeks ago a couple of us gals did the GloRun! It was so much fun! We weren't real competetive but we finished and had a blast!

32. Visit a foreign country.  I have visited a couple foreign countries when I was younger, but now I want to go somewhere as a family. I really want to go somewhere with my husband and oldest son.

33. See some of the Wonders of the World.

34.  Go to Disney/Harry Potter World. We're hoping to get a group together to go in 2016.

35. Climb to the top of a waterfall.

36. Take my family to the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta.

37. Go to New Zealand and see all the Lord of the Rings locations.*I know, I am a big dork.  ;-)

Homeschooling and My Heart

Homeschooling is an ever-changing creature in our house. We have tried different curriculum, workbooks, texts, websites, you name it... but what we had been needing to change was not the books.  It was me.  I was really struggling to stay on track with homeschooling because my head was in a million places at once.  If you know me or have read the blog much you probably realize that I have a lot going on (but don't we all).  And in an effort to clear my head I would escape it all through media.  I was spending too much time online - occasionally it would be on something important... but usually it was time wasters like facebook, Pinterest and Netflix.  I am NOT saying those are bad things.  But the way I had been using them was.

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.- James 3:1-5

Recently I read an article from the Multi-taskingMom about why they quit homeschooling.  Only it wasn't what you would think it would be about.  She just shared how their family went from trying to duplicate public school in their home to relaxing and turned the focus to creating a learning environment for their children.  And I love SimpleHomeschool's honesty in her post "What about Me?".  She opened up about how frazzled she had gotten trying to juggle it all amidst poor time management and a lack of prioritizing.  And she shared a couple of steps she took to make things more manageable for her and the whole family.


Mom's Mustard Seeds shared how she was quitting homeschooling to begin discipling her children. Oh, how I needed to hear that. She mentions how sometimes the world (even inside our homeschool or church communities) can be vindictive and tries to tell you to do things this way or that way, pulling you in all directions. Regardless of all the fuss over curriculum, teaching methods, etc... when it comes down to it, our primary purpose in parenting is really to lead our children to the cross.

But what to do?  Habits are so hard to change.  Seriously, when you are in a rut it is so hard to create new patterns of behavior. I have been in a deep rut.  One full of mud and muck that is keeping me from moving forward.  But its not going to be this way forever. I know that balance in my life is important and even thought it isn't easy, I am doing something about it. I am working on spending more time connecting with my children than connected to the internet. I am taking my focus off of reading about the various teaching methods and actually devoting time and attention to what my son is interested in learning. I've cut back on things that were a burden and am trying to do more of the things that fill me up. Little by little I am working on developing new, healthier habits for myself that will benefit me and my family.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. -  1 Corinthians 10:13

Happy Birthday to ME!

Another year older...  I was trying to think of what I wanted to blog on my birthday.  And I thought about those cute little Questionnaires us moms will sometimes pull out on our kids birthdays and ask them about all their favorite things and such.  So, I am going to do that. 

1. What is your favorite color? blue, turquoise

2. What is your favorite toy? the Kindle Fire, don't know, I don't really play with many toys.

3. What is your favorite fruit? strawberries... covered in whip cream on top of pancakes, or shortcake.

4. What is your favorite tv show? Parenthood - if I didn't love my family dearly I would totally want to be a Braverman!  One of just a few shows that my hubby and I actually get into together.  Its on Netflix, so if you haven't checked it out yet you can totally binge watch and catch up on the past couple of seasons.  ;-)

5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? whatever I eat off my kids' plates.

6. What is your favorite outfit? t-shirt, jeans and a cute scarf - LOVE scarves!

7. What is your favorite game? Things in a Box

8. What is your favorite snack? anything salty and/or chocolatey

9. What is your favorite animal? A cat, though if we ever get a yard we've talked about getting a therapy dog for the kids... but probably won't be happening anytime soon.

10. What is your favorite song? currently, Let It Go from Frozen 

11. What is your favorite book?  its always hard for me to pick a fave book - might have to go with Little Women, though I haven't read it in years, its always been one I loved!

12. Who is your best friend? as much as I dislike labels, I would have to say Jess is my best friend - she is always there for me and my family, she pretty much is family now.   But I am blessed to have a lot of very special friends that I am so grateful for.  You know who you are.  ;-)

13. What is your favorite special treat? I used to favor ice cream but my teeth have been more sensitive to cold so I've grown to appreciate cookies more lately. 

14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? go to the beach

15. What is your favorite drink? Water... and cherry coke... and amaretto sours

16. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? my husband

18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?  chile and eggs with my mom's homemade tortillas... oh yum!

19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? a meal that I don't have to cook, probably Mexican... or pizza... or Thai...  can you tell I answered these questions when I was hungry?

20. What do you want to be when you grow up?  I am doing exactly what I wanted when I was little.  I am a wife and mom.  The best jobs ever.

Body Image and Boudoir

 “There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience 


Last spring, I stumbled upon a Groupon for a mini boudoir session.  At the time I thought I bought it on an impulse.  But not really... back when we had cable I used to watch this show on Lifetime called How to Look Good Naked.  It actually was more about embracing your body the way it is and learning to feel good about yourself.  They take everyday women with average beautiful (but flawed) bodies and help them out of the "why bother" rut and teach them to dress to compliment their figures.  And they ended the episode with a photoshoot.  Naked.  Ah!  Seems crazy, right?  Or is it?

I know I am not alone in not always feeling beautiful.  Most women I know struggle with this at some time or another.  Many authors and bloggers have tackled this subject including: Cecily's Facing my Reflection  and Kjersten's Mirror Mirror OFF the Wall. We all have been bombarded by what the media presents as beautiful and sexy and frankly most of us do not fit into the tiny box they've created.  Human beings are diverse and unique and our culture's definition of beauty is not. 

Aside from my internal struggle to be content with the way I appear on the outside... there is also my husband to consider.  He is happy with how I look.  But he also is surrounded by the world's version of beauty and it can be a distraction to him as well.  Some people may ask the question:  Should Christians do Boudior? Boudoir can be a blessing in a marriage. The article Christians and Boudoir says this:
So, why do boudoir? I once heard a pastor refer to a man’s brain as a Rolodex. A man has thousands of images that he is bombarded with every day. Some good. Some not. Some holy. Some not. And whether he knows it or not, he remembers them. Ever so often his Rolodex goes on shuffle and pulls up an image in his mind. These images could even be as old as a Playboy cover he saw years ago. Now, don’t go thinking men are sick. It’s just the way God created them. They are visual.
But, why should Christian couples be interested?
Because of my Christian convictions, I believe that boudoir photography is best used in the context of marriage. I think any man would be delighted that his wife (or wife-to-be) would think enough of him to give him a gift that takes a lot of courage and love to do. Now, remember that Rolodex, ladies, how much better and holier is it if your husband’s brain goes on shuffle and up pops a gorgeous image of you…HIS WIFE? He is now thinking of the wonderful woman God blessed him with! What could be more God honoring than that?





At first I was totally psyched about doing the boudoir session.  I made all these unrealistic goals to diet and lost X amount of weight before the session. As time went on and I realized that wasn't happening I began to become anxious about it.  Frankly, if it wasn't something that I had already paid for I might have backed out.

But we ended up making arrangements for someone to watch the kids and Isaac came with me.  We had silly conversations about what I should wear and how much to reveal, etc.  Isaac was supportive and only wanted me to do what I was comfortable with.  I searched Pinterest and found poses that I liked.  I tried to be as prepared as I could be.  I followed all the tips the photographer gave me ahead of time.  I picked out a couple of sexy things to wear.  I even practiced making a sultry faces... not a fan of that part.  Did my hair up all fancy - for me anyway.  I even got my makeup professionally done! I mean, if I'm gonna do it I want to do it right!  ;-)

I was surprised at how comfortable I was during the photoshoot.  The photographer was very professional and put us both at ease.  She was very open to suggestion and did her best to work with the poses that I had collected.  She took charge when needed and helped find ways to compliment my curves.  The time passed quickly - it was a mini-session after all.  Before I knew it she was showing us the proofs and we were picking out photos.  Now to be honest...  I was still overly critical of myself as we viewed the photos.  I was making a weird face (was that supposed to be sexy or constipated?) in this one, that one showed too many fat rolls, etc...  However, there were a few that I really did like and was happy with how they turned out.  And naturally, my husband liked pretty much all of them. 

This pix above was taken at our post-photo-session dinner date.  I don't know if you can tell... but I feel pretty.  ;-)  And more than that, I felt empowered and confident.  It was a liberating experience for me. 

So... while I am not saying that every woman should do boudoir... I do think its worth considering.  It was a blessing for my husband and my marriage and it could be for yours too.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.  – Proverbs 5:18

A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. -   Proverbs 5:19

This Year I want to....

Its New Year's resolution time.  Ugh.  Who actually keeps their NYRs?  I don't think I ever have.  Well, I guess I may have kept some in my lifetime...  but none come to mind.  I think I've had the same few a dozen or more times.  And then there are the years when I try to prove something by not having any resolutions at all.  Or some years I will make goals that are really vague so its difficult to gauge progress or achievement.  What does that really prove?  Maybe it shows that sometimes I'd rather not try at all than to try and fail.

But what kind of an attitude is that?  I think its good and healthy to set goals for ourselves.  Its good to work hard toward something, even if you have fallen short, you still learn and grow from the experience.  So, 2014 will be a year with resolutions for me.  As I was working on what those goals would be I found this post to be helpful.  I wanted to find reasonable goals in several areas of my life.


For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  -  Jeremiah 29:11

God cares about our lives, our plans.  He wants what is best for us and desires to see us succeed in life.  God wants us to pursue Him and a life lived for Him. 

photo source

2014 Goals
(in no particular order)


Intentional Parenting

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deut. 6:6-9

So much of the time I feel like I am just doing enough to get by.  I care for them, keep them fed and clothed and all that important stuff...  but I don't always take the time to just love on them, to hug and kiss and be silly.  I spend more time disciplining and teaching them what not to do that I miss out on the opportunities to show them what to do.  I want to show my children Christ's love

Purposeful Passion

 ...each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. -  1 Corinthians 7:2-5

 I love my husband.  So much.  And I enjoy him.  But life happens and my energy gets sapped and I think he feels like he's just another thing on my to-do list sometimes.  I want to make sure he knows how important he is, how much I appreciate his hard work, how much I am attracted to him, how much I respect and admire him...  I want us to really connect more and watch tv less.

Spiritual Growth

"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone..."  Matthew 14:22

I confess that I am guilty of letting my spiritual health fall to the wayside far too often.  There is so much happening on any given day that devotionals or prayer time just seem to end up at the bottom of the to-do list.  I know its harmful to me and subsequently to my family when I am spiritually dried up... and I think I have been for awhile.  I want to be filled up by Him.  And I need to be daily.

Weightloss

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."  - 1 Corinthians 19:20

I am kind of ashamed to say this but I know it'll be good to get it out.  I am currently about the same weight I was when I gave birth to Christine three and a half years ago.  Breastfeeding helped me lose most of my pregnancy weight without much effort but over time I have gained it back, and then some.  I am an emotional eater and focus more on the kids' nutrition than my own.  I'm not getting any younger and I want to get control of my eating and exercise habits before I hit menopause!  ;-)


Friendship

Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

I want to focus not on making new friends, but on being a better friend this year.  Sometimes distance and busyness keep me from reaching out and connecting with friends.  Or from taking the time and effort to take an acquaintance and developing that relationship into a real friendship.  I want to be the kind of person that I would want to be friends with.

Business

Deuteronomy 8:18 NIV But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.  - See more at: http://succeedasyourownboss.com/04/2012/12-bible-verses-every-small-business-owner-needs-for-2012/#sthash.wF4uP1Ng.dpuf

But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.  -  Deuteronomy 8:18

Deuteronomy 8:18 NIV But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.  - See more at: http://succeedasyourownboss.com/04/2012/12-bible-verses-every-small-business-owner-needs-for-2012/#sthash.wF4uP1Ng.dpuf

Deuteronomy 8:18 NIV But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.  - See more at: http://succeedasyourownboss.com/04/2012/12-bible-verses-every-small-business-owner-needs-for-2012/#sthash.wF4uP1Ng.dpuf

I do a little photography on the side to supplement our income.  And frankly because I love doing it.  Sometimes I can't tell if its a hobby or a business.  I want to work on building my photography skills as well as my business skills.  I am not looking for a full time job, but I want to build something that I can be proud of and that can help support my family.


Well, in some ways my list seems incomplete... in other ways it feels insurmountable.  But regardless of how much I accomplish this coming year I know I will have grown, and made progress and isn't that all we can really ask of ourselves anyway? 

What are your goals for 2014? 

Being Mom...

In case you haven't noticed... I have not been blogging much in the past few months. I just haven't felt like I had anything worth sharing.  I've been in a bit of a mental/emotional slump.  I look at my life, my daily activities, and wonder: "Is this it?".  I truly believe that my value is not in what I do but in Who made me.  I am a daughter of God and that is something that I cling to on the really hard days.  But sometimes its hard to see past all the diapers and dirty laundry and cooking meals that get complained about and half of it ends up on the floor...  sometimes I need reminded that what I am doing is important, that it matters. 

Why Being A Mom is Enough 

“They don’t see you stand in the bathroom and gather your resolve every morning. They don’t see those of you who mother alone without much support. They don’t see the trips to the car back and forth and back and forth. They don’t see you counting to ten a dozen times before noon. They don’t see you look at the bank account and sigh and try to figure out how to make three meals with what’s left in your pantry. They don’t see you walking into the principals office, doctor’s office, friend’s house and defending your child.

They don’t see bandages placed on knees. Kisses on foreheads at night. Pillows pushed just the right way and blankets tucked to the perfect demands. Laundry folded and folded and folded. Tears that sting your eyes as your keep going. Dinners prepped over the stove. Times of laughter over silly things. Hair brushed and pulled back into pony tails. Prayers over wandering teens. Prayers over little babes. Nights spent sleeping in a chair holding a sick child. Days where the house is a wreck but you’re reading books. The brave smile on your face when you’re weary.

Those things matter.”

Our church always does a program called "Bring Your Gifts to Jesus" every year around Christmas-time.  Its always said that it is not meant to be a talent show or pageant, but a forum for sharing the gifts that God has given us and give those gifts back to Him.  But for someone who doesn't sing, dance or play an instrument it can be discouraging sometimes.  Frankly, seeing all those talents can often remind someone of their lack of talent. 

But if you really think about it, does Jesus put value in "talents" over gifts of service?  I think not.  There are so many gifts given every day by people who love Jesus and love His children that cannot be performed on a stage.  So, this year I requested that a video be played to represent all of the gifts that moms and caregivers give on a daily basis.

3 Queens from Matt Bieler on Vimeo.

That video moves me to tears every time I watch it.  Its beautiful.  If truth be told, when you're in the midst of the diapers and sick kids and doctor visits and sticky floors... it doesn't always feel beautiful.  But God sees it that way.  He knows how hard we work just to keep going.  He knows that we struggle with being satisfied with being "just a mom".  He knows that its a choice we made because we felt it was the best thing for our kids, that we could be working in a "real job" with deadlines and coffee breaks and peer validation.  So while right now the rewards might be few (hugs and kisses), someday we will have treasure waiting for us in heaven. 

"As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem." -  Isaiah 66:13

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." -  Matthew 6:19-21

UnWired Mom Challenge

Recently Nate told me that he thinks I spend "um, like 70, no 75% of your day on the computer... sigh...".  While  he's clearly exaggerating, as kids often do... I know I've gotten into the bad habit of spending too much time online.  Its easy to have a legitimate reason to get on the computer (quick check of the email, look up a gluten-free recipe, etc) and then get distracted by this or that and end up on the computer for an hour or more.  Obviously, I have many more important things that I should be spending my time on. 

I want to tame the beast and find a balance in how I spend my time.  Part of the reason its a hard habit to kick is because as a SAHM the internet is often my connection to the world.  Frankly sometimes I use it as an escape.  When I'm having a really frustrating day its easier to lose myself in mindless surfing the web than it is to face the chaos around me.  But I know it is not good for me or my family for me to spend so much of my time this way.  I want to be more deliberate about making actual face-to-face connections happen with my friends, catching up on things that have fallen behind (ahem - housework...), reading more books (both to the kids and for myself), and just playing with my kids more.  We will all benefit if I make a few changes.

Its for those reasons that for the next two weeks I am joining Sarah Mae and other moms in a quest to kick our internet habit and be more intentional moms.  She has put together the UnWired Mom 14-Day Challenge to help and encourage moms to not be consumed by the internet.  We're not alone... join with other moms who are struggling too.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31 - See more at: http://sarahmae.com/2013/08/join-the-unwired-mom-challenge/#sthash.qUoq8Jjg.dpuf

The UnWired Mom Challenge is not a stay-off-your-computer-for-two-weeks challenge. It’s a challenge to help you try and break some habits and come up with a vision for living free and whole and un-addicted while still enjoying the benefits of the Internet. - See more at: http://sarahmae.com/2013/08/the-unwired-mom-14-day-challenge-begins-today/#sthash.IA693GD9.dpuf

The UnWired Mom Challenge is not a stay-off-your-computer-for-two-weeks challenge. It’s a challenge to help you try and break some habits and come up with a vision for living free and whole and un-addicted while still enjoying the benefits of the Internet.

- See more at: http://sarahmae.com/2013/08/the-unwired-mom-14-day-challenge-begins-today/#sthash.IA693GD9.dpuf

The UnWired Mom Challenge is not a stay-off-your-computer-for-two-weeks challenge. It’s a challenge to help you try and break some habits and come up with a vision for living free and whole and un-addicted while still enjoying the benefits of the Internet.

- See more at: http://sarahmae.com/2013/08/the-unwired-mom-14-day-challenge-begins-today/#sthash.IA693GD9.dpuf

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

Proscrastination...

I have had the same half dozen things at the top of my To Do List for weeks... maybe more like months. 

I guess I should explain a little bit.  When my husband worked for his parents' business he had a little more freedom and he was able to take care of most of the insurance and medical paperwork and phone calls, etc.  Well, since he has been at his current job for the past year he does not have the same flexibility he had before.  So, those responsibilities have fallen to me. I'll admit something to you all.  I have not risen to the occasion...  I have cowered.

As some of you may know dealing with Medicaid and Insurance and the medical community is not always sunshine and roses.  Often there is a lot of jumping through hoops and filing lots of paperwork and making lots of tedious phone calls to people who claim to know what they're talking about and are supposed to be there to help you but seem to be as tired and frustrated and ignorant as I do.  Some days I have felt crippled by the anxiety about the impending phone calls and necessary hoops I will inevitably be jumping through.  Taking care of this paperwork and faxing it to this person, who will send it to so-and-so who will be calling me back with questions... its mentally and emotionally exhausting just thinking about it.

So I kept put things off.  Among other things, several phone calls needed to be made to get Christine scheduled for outpatient therapy since she aged out of First Steps and cannot continue to get therapy through them.  But I've been frustrated and disappointed and disrespected so many times that I just did not want to deal with it.  I didn't want another person to treat me like I'm stupid, or tell me that this service or that service is not covered.  I just feel like those phone calls suck the life out of me.  It puts me in a bad place emotionally.  Frankly, it often puts me in pit of depression that it takes days (or weeks) to work my way out of.

At some point I finally accepted that I could not put these off any longer.  But I knew I needed a plan to take care of the phone calls without them getting the best of me.  So I came up with a few things to help me do my best.

- Prioritize - 
I sat down and figured out which items on my list were most important.  There were a couple that I was able to rule out as unnecessary or at least something that legitimately could be put off for a later date.  The ones that needed to be addressed right away I moved to the top of the list.

- Get Organized -
I created a list of the phone numbers that I would be needing to call so that I could tackle them all at once instead of having to scramble to find this number or that one in between each phone call.

- Write It Down -
One of the things that I was afraid of was not knowing what to say or forgetting something that I meant to ask, etc.  So I wrote down a series of questions that I needed answered.

- Get and Early Start -
There were many days when I would try to get up the nerve to tackle my call list all day and finally feel ready to do it late in the afternoon when it was really too late to accomplish the task since business hours often end between 4 and 5pm.  Then that would give me another reason to put it off.

- Occupy the Kids -

When you have kids its often difficult to carry on a serious conversation while they are tugging at your legs or trying to get you to do this or that for them.  So, be proactive and find something to entertain your children for awhile so that you can make your phone calls uninterrupted.  I found that the best way for me to accomplish this was to put Joe and Christine down for naps and let Nate have some tablet time.  Ah... silence.  ;-)

- Rely on God -
While we should always do our best at whatever we do, we should find a balance and also realize that He is taking care of every detail.  Whatever our prayer is God has an answer.  Sometimes it may be "no", but if that is the case then its because He has something else (usually better) in mind for us.  Take a deep breath and know that our lives are in the hands of the One True God.  It is so freeing when we rest in that knowledge.


Here are a few other helpful posts on this topic:

Real Simple  -  How to Stop Procrastinating

Life Organizers  -  7 Easy Ways to Stop Procrastinating

Get Motivated Stay Motivated  -  How to Overcome Procrastination

Prolific Living  -  18 Radical Ways to Stop Procrastination


I know there is no perfect formula and every situation is different.  But I hope that these suggestions will help you tackle whatever it is that you're putting off.  Because the fear of something is almost always worse than the thing itself.


Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.-  Proverbs 12:25

Thirty-three

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to win a free appetizer buffet from The Claddagh Irish Pub.  They had a giveaway on their facebook page and I entered it... and forgot about it.  What a fun surprise when they called me up saying I won!  Well, something that cool had to be shared!  So I gathered a bunch of girl friends and we had a great girls night out.

 

This is me and one of my best gals!  Our birthdays are just a couple of days apart so we shared the birthday girl status at the party.

Well, I feel like one blessed gal!  I am so thankful for all the special ladies that came for our girls night out.  We definitely need to do this more often!  ;-)

Tv-Time

Confessions of a Stay-at-Home-Mom shared her take on the upcoming TV Fall Previews.  I loved hearing her faves and fears!  Here is my two cents on this fall's tv:

photo source

 
Must See:
Parenthood - I excited to see more of the Braverman family. It is one of the few shows that my husband and I really get into together. We find it to be more relate-able than most shows in recent years.  Isaac and I especially connect with Adam and Christina's challenges with Max (who has Aspergers).  While its not the same as what we are dealing with it is refreshing to see a couple still together through the hard times of raising a child with special needs.

Once Upon a Time - I didn't get into this until midway through the season last year and caught up. I find the stories to be a tangle of intrigue. I enjoy seeing how each fairy tale is intertwined with the others. Not surprising that its from the creators of Lost.   ;-)  Last year it felt like none of my friends were watching it so I had no one to discuss it with.  Just so you know, I am one of those people who talk about book, movie and tv characters like they are real people.  So, I am super excited that my sister and friend will be joining me to watch it together this season!  Yay!

On Probation: Well, there isn't much to say in this category because I have already cut out a few shows in the last couple of years. As much as I was into them, I got tired of all the sleeping around in Vampire Diaries, Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice.  Not to mention all the pro-abortion themes.

Give it a Try:
Revolution sounds like one that I might like. I am a big Hunger Games (and Divergent) fan and it sounds targeted to that audience. I hope they do it well and it isn't too much like a copycat.

Go On with Matthew Perry is promising. My inlaws were counselors for years and they said the shows depiction of group counseling was hilarious. I might watch a few episodes for fun. I must admit I miss Chandler Bing. ;-)

Homeland (on Showtime) is not new but it is new to me.  My hubs and I are going to try out the first season and see if we like it.  I really like Clair Danes and hope that the show is as good as it looks.


That is all I have to say about that.  ;-)  What shows are you into?

What kind of woman are you?

 I am sad to admit that I often strive to be "super woman" instead of allowing myself to be the the Abiding Woman that I know God wants me to be.  My flesh and my need to please others pull me away from the path the Lord has set before me.  I am tempted (and often fall) in so many ways every day.  I am comforted to know that I am not alone in this struggle.  The Apostle Paul was familiar with this too.  He wrote about it in Romans:

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. - Romans 7:15 NASB

We are blessed to have a forgiving and faithful God.  He never gives up on us.  He will continue to be by my side and guide me whenever I need His help.  And I do.  I need His help to be a better wife, mother and friend.  I need His help to be patient when my kids drive me crazy.  I need His help to love the people close to me when they are careless or hurtful.  I need His help to keep moving forward when life seems overwhelming.

And He is there for you too.

Can I get an "amen"?  ;-)

I cut it off for charity...

I think we all know that more people than ever are being affected by cancer, alopecia, trichotillomania and other conditions that may cause them to lose their hair, and ultimately their self esteem.  Women especially suffer when dealing with hair thinning or baldness.

My husband made the statement that he wishes that people would be able to feel comfortable being who they are even if that includes being bald.  I think its a nice idea, but with as much as people go through while fighting a serious illness, I think its understandable for them to seek some normalcy and often that includes wearing a wig.

It often feels like there is not much that I can do for those suffering from diseases and illnesses of this kind.  But donating my hair is something (albeit a small thing) that I can do and I am happy to do so.  Every few years I take the plunge and cut off 10+ inches of my hair and send it to a charity.  Here are before and after pictures of my recent donation cutting.

I teased my friends on facebook by posting this pix of Nate holding my ponytail before I posted the real "after" pix.

 Then, after much persuading I posted the pix on the right and the pix on the left was just taken (after I'd had a chance to play with the bit of curl left in my hair).

What do you think?  Cute?  My hubs still maintains that he prefers my hair long but that I'm beautiful no matter what my hair looks like.  I am enjoying the short new 'do for now.  Might have another "after" to show soon because my sister is going to help me die it!  ;-)


There is a really great article on She Knows about donating your hair to charity HERE.  You can donate your hair via Locks of Love OR Pantene Beautiful Lengths OR Wigs For Kids. If you have a donation "before" and "after" post I'd love to see it!  Thanks!










photo source